Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Relational Two Step

Oh, to truly be a relational people. We strive for it. We hunger for it. We love to communicate, to relate, and to connect. But are we truly connected? Do we truly relate, or are we simply congregating? When we find ourselves networking with others, are we truly seeing the heart of their life? Do we hurt when they hurt, love the things they love, and understand the passions that drive them? Do we stop everything we are doing to pray with them, listen to them, and have compassion for them in their time of struggle? Do we celebrate the victories of their lives with them? Do we peek into the window of their soul, and do we really see the desires of their heart? Somehow, I think we, as the body of believers, fall way short.

We cannot possibly know other people's deepest thoughts if we are only wanting to be "relational" with them according to the standards in our culture today. Sure, we have brought that buzz word into our religious circles, but what actions are we really connecting the word to? The modern version of "relational" seems much more of a calculated form of communication, where we set aside time, gather in a room, and talk about the things that we know we can agree on. That is fellowship, not relationship. Casual conversation is not true relationship. We have become masters of bringing people together...but are they really unified, or simply corralled?

We keep our conversational script to the list of things we agree on, and keep so far back from eachother's pressure points that we spend time talking about ideal ideologies, and perfect scenarios...overlooking the very biases, lifestyles and struggles that we face on a daily basis. We stick to the fellowship basics, with our "masks" in tact. "How are you? Where do you work? What kind of things do you like to do? Let's meet and discuss the ways we can join together." That is easy! I can do that with success with the bully from my third grade class. But is that the extent of what God wants when we seek to be "relational for His sake"? I think we are only half way there.

If we only had a casual understanding that there was a Jesus, and never understood what He did, why He did it, and why we will never be the same as a result of it, then we will never have truly experienced relationship with Him. Even those who will never accept Jesus as their Savior will acknowledge that a really great guy named Jesus lived a long time ago. They may even call Him a prophet. But unless He is their Savior, they never experience true relationship with Him. Jesus is the one and only Savior for mankind, and to understand that fact is to understand Him...which leads to relationship with Him. It is who He is.

Each and every one of us was created with a specific calling, passion. We all have burdens, struggles, victories and a unique emotional make up. We all have things that make us distinct, and when others begin to understand our distinctiveness that lies under the superficial surface of small talk, then they begin to enter relationship with us. The "unmasked" portions of our lives are the subjects of true relational conversations.

To be relational in God's framework means to love the whole heart of those around us, understanding the reality of who they are, and why they respond in the ways they do. We will embrace their struggles, as seen in Galatians 6:2, "Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ." Also, "we know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." (1 John 3:16)

Do we relate, hence become relational, even with each other's struggles? Do we sympathize or empathize? Do we try to understand why things are suggested, or why people react in the way they do, or do we simply want to relate in a uniform way that never touches the recesses of who we really are?

Do we realize how the very words we say show others what we really think of them? For truly, "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart." (Luke 6:45)

No matter what issues each of us have in our past, no matter what struggles we currently face, I truly believe that God wants us to be relational. Relational in a way that is shown in Galatians 6:9-10, "And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially those who are of the household of faith."

Why? Because, Jesus has given us very clear direction. To Him, being relational goes back to this, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35)

Is love equal to relational? In God's economy, it has such a deeper level of responsibility than that of the world's definition. For "if you love Me [Jesus], you will keep My commandments." (John 14:15, bracket my addition).

This comes from Jesus, our example of a perfect relational life, who also says that "I am the way, and the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, but through Me." (John 14:6)

As we love Jesus, and accept His gift of salvation, we will obey His commands. When we obey His commands, we will not be able to contain the love that we have for others, as it will be an overflow of our heart that is full of our deep abiding love for our Savior.

We will begin to hurt when others are hurting, for we follow a compassionate God. We will understand that the ways of God do not always fit with a logical explanation of why we should do something, or how we should proceed with a task - for God's ways are not our ways. "Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:18)

We will understand that God's big picture is that we will all be reconciled to Him, not to the world, or the standards of the world. Our relationship with Him, and with other believers through Him will be our priority. We are not here to make the world a perfect place, we are here to share the perfect gospel with a lost world, and let God get the glory. God is the creator and sustainer of all things, and only He can perfect that which He has created.

As we walk in faith and in relationship with our Savior, we will begin to walk in genuine relationship with those around us. Step by step, not process by process. Step by step, not network by network. Step by step, not relational community by relational community. We will walk together, arm in arm, showing the world the true manifestation of relationship, as "whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did." (1 John 2:6, NIV) For only when true relationship occurs will the body of Christ begin to look like the body - with all races, ages, demographics and music preferences all praising the God of the Bible in unison...uncompromisingly and unashamed of the Jesus they love.

Much love in Christ,

JD

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